“Improving Your Balance”...

A book never written: “Improving Your Balance” by Trip N. Fall. ...

What you call a smart corn...

Alex: What do you call a smart corner? Casey: I haven’t a clue. Alex: A “right angle.” ...

Daffynition: Mushroom

Daffynition: Mushroom—A closet full of baby food. ...

A giraffe swallows a toy j...

Seth: What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet? Jake: Tell me. Seth: A “plane in the neck.” ...

“Survive in the Forest”...

A book never written: “Survive in the Forest” by Lawson D. Woods ...

A poodle in the sauna.

Tobin: What do you call a poodle in the sauna? Robin: Beats me. Tobin: A hot dog. ...

A country that only drives...

Randy: What do you call a country that drives only rose-colored cars? Connor: I’m stumped. Randy: A “red carnation!” ...

“Fried Potatoes”

A book never written: “Fried Potatoes” by Tate R. Tot. ...

The inexperienced handyman...

A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day. The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.” ...

Thousands of bolts to put ...

Warped Wiseman says: “It takes thousands of bolts to put a car together, but only one nut to wreck it.” ...

Before teaching a dog tric...

Dana: What should a man know before trying to teach a dog tricks? Rover: I have no idea. Dana: More than the dog! ...

Is the mailbag ever to hea...

‘Sup, Dog (I Mean Burro), Just wondering if the mailbag is ever so heavy you can’t haul it? — Baylee A., Green Bay, Wis. I manage to get it hauled every day, Baylee, but it can be exhausting work. I need periodic alfalfa milkshakes and tumbleweed tacos to keep my strength up (or at least that’s what I tell The Boss). ...

“Doughnuts, Doughnuts, Dou...

A book never written: “Doughnuts, Doughnuts, Doughnuts!” by Chris P. Cream. ...

Where cats write down note...

Tony: Where do cats write down their notes? Joannie: I dunno. Tony: On scratch paper! ...

If a child refuses to nap.

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If a child refuses to nap during the day, is he resisting a rest?” ...
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